Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

Talk about everything but Rayman!

Moderator: English moderators

Hoozang
Paluchard
Posts: 2267
Joined: Sat Aug 23, 2014 5:47 pm
Tings: 240

Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

Post by Hoozang » Sun May 24, 2015 1:42 pm

Thanks, guys.

MLII
Tarayzan
Posts: 8064
Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 10:48 pm
Location: idk man i'm more an abstract concept at this point
Tings: 43075

Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

Post by MLII » Mon May 25, 2015 11:11 am

i'm sorry to hear all of these, guys!! ono

okay so i am smack bang in the middle of exams (i just did creative writing on friday) and whoopdefuckingdo my drama club teacher decides to pull three all day rehearsals for the play in the middle of half term.

look, i get i signed on for the play. all day rehearsals are a thing, i know that. but he doesn't usually do it like this, and this time? i have exams. i have politics on june 1 and june 4 and performance studies on june 3 and this leaves me like. 4 days to study for them.

i don't know WHY this man thinks my 17yo self who needs three Bs can afford to sit around for seven hours doing fuck all basically (i am in four scenes? i think? haha) apart from watch everyone else do their thing but as it happens i am a student and i need study time

uuUUUGUUGUUUUGH do you even know how hard politics exams are UGH falls over
Image
Image

Disionity
Premier Grand Mini
Posts: 507
Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2012 12:23 am
Location: Drifting about.
Tings: 2700

Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

Post by Disionity » Fri Jun 12, 2015 3:08 am

I've been rather depressed and discontent, as of late. It just seems like for the last three months, I've been going through the motions, with no real goal, or sense of purpose, or satisfaction in my life. I haven't drawn much of anything in the last six months, and when I do, it either is complete garbage, or I simply have no inspiration. I'm now 16 1/2 years old, and it is becoming increasingly apparent to me that I'm getting closer and closer to becoming an adult and having to figure out what I want to do with my life. I've already had people ask me about what I'm going to do for a job, and my parents occasionally popping the question of what I plan on doing when I finish my schooling. In all honesty, it scares me to death, and I'm trying to put it off for as long as possible. If I wanted to be honest with myself, I have a strong desire to create, but simply lack the talent to do so. Acquiring the talent is doubtful, as I've never been able to focus and follow through on anything. I know I can't do this forever, and I must eventually commit to something, but it just overwhelms me to think about it. Also, in recent months, I've been having constant feelings of negativity about myself, and constantly think that everyone I know is better than me, and is farther ahead in life than me.

Snagglebee
Premier Grand Mini
Posts: 11780
Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2013 6:22 pm
Location: Yes
Tings: 2695

Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

Post by Snagglebee » Tue Jun 16, 2015 10:34 pm

School you're a bitch.
Last edited by Snagglebee on Sat Jun 20, 2015 11:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
Image

GrandKittymus
Ptizêtre Vert
Posts: 253
Joined: Sat Feb 16, 2013 11:36 pm
Location: Where I shouldn't be. Up to no good once again.
Contact:
Tings: 1210

Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

Post by GrandKittymus » Thu Jun 18, 2015 12:09 am

I've been reminded today about how much, I don't know, a way my life is cursed. I'm reminded of how hard it is for me to get around other people. I get told too many times that I'm not social enough or I need to make more friends. Well, it's not my fault. It's kinda something that grew from my past. Everyone I try to have in my life leave me somehow. I don't know if it's because of how weird I was in my childhood or something, but I always lose people in life in different ways. One I feel is pretty common is that people just don't like me for who I am. Someone I knew since my childhood rejected me in front of a whole crowd of people to pretty much look cool. I knew how much other people hated me, but I never wanted my friend I knew for awhile to do that to me. I've also been pulled into tricks just for the sake of trying to fit in. They knew my weakness of longing to be like everyone else. I only found out that people pull me into their group to embarrass me. I've been pranked way too many times in my earlier days. I found those same people friended me on social media only to humiliate even more and act like I' m stupid enough to not even know it. And later I realize these people even care for me when they're accusing me for things I didn't do the next day. People are either going to throw me away straight off the bat or they take the advantage of me for their own pleasure. Another way I feel like I lose people in life is a different situation. Whenever I get very very close friends, they somehow have to leave my life. Every friend I ever actually had moved away or passed away and it makes me feel like everything good I ever had in the hard times ended. My freedom, sanctuary, everything I ever had to survive my trials was yanked from my life just like that. The one person who understood what kind of pain it ever was for me to live my life surrounded by unending insults and heartache left me too. And that was only one person out of everyone I ever knew. I pretty much live with a fear of developing a relationship with anyone. I'm afraid the cycle is only going to continue and I'm going to lose those people in the future or they take the advantage of me. And I come home being insulted by this fear. It's a lose-lose situation. I wanted to forget I even struggle with this, but I'm constantly reminded it when people get on me. The worst part? I don't want to tell people I'm stressing or I'm depressed or that I don't like something. I feel like I'll only make matters worse if I express my true feelings about things in my life. I'm just a sensitive freak that people leave behind really. I'm sorry for sounding like an absolute baby about things in my life, but this is my struggle. It's unending.
Image

Welcome~. The Kitty is at your service today. The Teensies are currently not available to assist you so allow me to be your Substitute. What's that? A giant is looking to crush me? No~, of course that's not possible.

Keane
Globox
Posts: 15054
Joined: Thu Feb 03, 2011 2:06 am
Location: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SI0cUxXDLdk
Tings: 145022

Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

Post by Keane » Wed Jul 01, 2015 8:12 pm

Deleted old post to prevent double posting

--

I've been avoiding this topic for a while, but It's beginning to dawn on me that my small social circle has been shrinking even more and certain comforts have begun to disappear along with it. Whether I'm in a better or worse period, I really think there's no more denying that I've grown a bit mentally unstable, or at least in the form of lacking access to any proper interaction. At the same time I'm growing completely alienated by the few people in my surroundings, and at this point I don't feel like there's even any kind of support or healthy talk going on anymore, anything that happens is just my personal thing at this point.

Meanwhile, growing up is just making me more anxious by the day, to the point where I have trouble just spending a free day with no responsibilities. I can't help but completely soak myself in reading about the stupidity of things like consumerism, the injustice of rigged politics, the realities of climate change, and it's filling me with such a crushing dislike, because already I feel like I've had things I value get fucked over by the whole thing, and the whole thing just adds another layer of anxiety. These things are so easily pushed down and made smaller by people, to the point where I'm being mocked for caring at all, and it just gets labeled as meaningless, childish, and over-dramatic, even though these same people tend to be the ones who wouldn't even know a damn thing about any of it if I never brought it up.

And so this whole web of personal and broader issues has set itself up, and I have no idea where to go with any of it. I can't really discuss this sort of thing with my friend, so where do I turn then? My parents just dismiss everything that comes in their path, and they apply that mindset to me: Social anxiety is probably just me not being open to others, my fears about these global issues are just teenage angst, and there's no need to actually tackle these problems, because no matter who it is, the solution to them always seems to be: Just sit it out until eventually, magically, I'll comfortably stop giving a shit. Or basically, let's wait until my expectations are lowered even further and I become too busy in life to involve myself with anything, and that'll just be it.

I just feel out of place, stuck with empty hopes and poor excuses, and watching everyone cling onto superficial bullshit to get them through things. It's very easy to just push it aside for some people, but I really can't do that, and when my depressive moods become labeled as boring, annoying and "the reason i don't have friends", that's not even social anxiety anymore, that's just a severe lack of wanting to even bother with anyone anymore.

A few days ago I was so upset with the whole thing that the slightest thing would trigger me: I yelled at my parents when I couldn't get my hair in place, and later walked off out of frustration when I slightly spilled a drink, and it's days like those that scare the fuck out of me, because I'm not sure how much more I can swallow of this. What am I supposed to do? Sit out another year, two years, or more of being isolated and angry at everything? Actually wait and hope that I'll somehow end up being fine with things? I'm not suicidal or about to completely fuck myself up, but I'm scared that if I'm not careful I'm going to grow into a person I really don't want to be. It's like the older I get the more I find excitement being replaced by fear, and nothing is about excitement or building up, but about coping and accepting, and trying to make due with what's left. I can't really form an image of who I am anymore, or of what I want, and as fucked up as it sounds, sometimes I almost wish I was suicidal so It'd at least feel like there existed an escape from the whole thing.
Burgers float into my room...
Image
[quote="Adsolution"]muse - showbiz (super mario sunshiner mario falling sound cover ending)[/quote]

Pirez
Ly
Posts: 8360
Joined: Sun Oct 05, 2014 9:36 am
Location: Pas ici...
Contact:
Tings: 97945

Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

Post by Pirez » Thu Jul 02, 2015 11:50 am

Well, this will teach me to trust people...

A year ago, I was in an internship at a company in Bavaria with very close ties to Audi. Due to me being a student, I understood that the company delegated me a project of my boss, where, in reality they had given me my own project. Thus, the first 4 months of the project were "moderately" productive, and once the problem was cleared up, the last two months were "exceptionally" productive (since I was freely able to take all the initiatives I wanted). But in globality, the internship was rated as "better than average".

Now, at the time, I made it perfectly clear that I would refuse any job offer because I still had my dream of becoming an officer in the French gendarmerie. Nevertheless, I had great fun during my time with the company and the co-workers seemed to like me well (which cannot be said for most of the interns they bring in). Thus, they also stated that they were interested to keep me around. So they told me that if becoming an officer failed, I could still come back to them and we would at least discuss a position if jobs were available. It's a gesture they make for everybody within the company, most notably one of my former colleagues who spent 25 years working for it overall, but takes vacations "whose length are undefined" (which can sometimes last up to three years)

So I boldly ventured into the life of preparing myself for exams again. During this year, several complications arose, such as a 12,000€ debt that I now owe to the State because "I went to military school but didn't become part of the army within three years", which is true, but the State promptly forgets that I wanted enroll the 3rd year of eligibility and my application was denied because I didn't possess a special paper that the State itself was supposed to give me and never did. So I enrolled in a civic service instead. It pays like shit and you're treated like shit but oh well, only 24h/week and I still live at Dad's, I can manage my debt with only 550€/month.

The gendarmerie exams actually went pretty well. I made it into the final 30, got medically cleared, almost with a mention of excellence if I wasn't a bit overweight. Sports was a bit rough, but I expected that, plus the heat (+36° that day) destroyed me, which is not an excuse because other participants shined through the heat, but it destroyed me nonetheless. Still, my hopes were high because for 30 contestants, 13 spots were promised. Following that, I enrolled in a seminary of High Studies on the topic of National Defense, which could only help my chances. So far, so good, right?

Well, here's the twist to the story. Though specifics weren't made official, I still had an acquaintance that detailed me how the story went inside the deliberation chamber. Out of 30, I ended up ranking 11th, which means I'm officially an officer in the gendarmerie. Or at least I would be if an unexpected budget cut forced the State to only take 9 officers this year. So I succeeded and I failed at the same time. To make matter worse, just to cover its ass, the State awarded every rejected contestant a eliminatory grade.

Thus, I said : "no biggies, I still have someone I can talk to at my former company, right?" Well, no. For all the talk about they wanted to keep me around, When I advertise myself (and I know jobs are available because I fucking checked), I just got the usual and inpersonnal "We aren't interested in your profile", which I promptly interpret as "Fuck you, you goddamn loser".

But wait, it gets better : in my field of study (aka Biomechanics), the school I went to is highly regarded. Most specifically, the Biomechanics+ program. But I didn't enroll in the Biomechanics+ program, I only did the regular Biomechanics program. Unfortunately, that's none of the recruiters business, even if you try to explain that you gladly would have enrolled in the program if it had existed the year you signed up for your school. My case isn't being helped bu the fact that in my field, you need to have at least 3 years of experience in the industry BEFORE graduating.

So with all that in mind, I am now a job-less, dream-less, experience-less and confidence-less young engineer with a degree that's pretty much worth shit. It feels that I've already wasted my life and I'm only 24. Right now, the most lucrative activity I have is my Youtube channel, which brought in 4,5€ in two and a half years. I feel like the best thing to right now is to shove a shotgun barrel down my nostrils and open fire. You may say that it's overly depressive for me to think that and... yeah it is, but my feelings are rather tainted considering my cat died recently.

Just to give this story a conclusion : whenever somebody promises you something, do not trust him because he lies.
Image

Pirez
Ly
Posts: 8360
Joined: Sun Oct 05, 2014 9:36 am
Location: Pas ici...
Contact:
Tings: 97945

Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

Post by Pirez » Sat Aug 08, 2015 3:27 am

Here's something that's bothering me : I suck at record day. :(
Image

Bradandez
Globox
Posts: 18589
Joined: Wed Mar 21, 2012 12:50 am
Tings: 137530

Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

Post by Bradandez » Sat Aug 08, 2015 3:27 am

You do.

Thebananacrafter!
Robot Ninja
Posts: 885
Joined: Sun Dec 28, 2014 1:22 pm
Tings: 3340

Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

Post by Thebananacrafter! » Sat Aug 08, 2015 3:28 am

I cant post fast enough and i probably the person who has the least posts
Image

Bradandez
Globox
Posts: 18589
Joined: Wed Mar 21, 2012 12:50 am
Tings: 137530

Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

Post by Bradandez » Sat Aug 08, 2015 3:29 am

There's no variety at all this year. Everyone is on the You Topic being a bunch of Prudes.

PluMGMK
Dora Dodemer
Posts: 30591
Joined: Fri Jul 31, 2009 9:00 pm
Location: Tír an "Tuisil Ghinidigh" agus an "Mhodha Choinníollaigh"
Contact:
Tings: 5985

Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

Post by PluMGMK » Sat Aug 08, 2015 10:13 am

Pirez wrote:Here's something that's bothering me : I suck at record day. :(
I too, clearly.

Bradandez
Globox
Posts: 18589
Joined: Wed Mar 21, 2012 12:50 am
Tings: 137530

Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

Post by Bradandez » Sat Aug 08, 2015 10:14 am

No gf yet.

Pirez
Ly
Posts: 8360
Joined: Sun Oct 05, 2014 9:36 am
Location: Pas ici...
Contact:
Tings: 97945

Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

Post by Pirez » Sat Aug 08, 2015 10:14 am

You're not with Brabra? You lied to us Bruhd?
Image

Bradandez
Globox
Posts: 18589
Joined: Wed Mar 21, 2012 12:50 am
Tings: 137530

Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

Post by Bradandez » Sat Aug 08, 2015 10:22 am

i am having affair with Wendy shh its a secret

PluMGMK
Dora Dodemer
Posts: 30591
Joined: Fri Jul 31, 2009 9:00 pm
Location: Tír an "Tuisil Ghinidigh" agus an "Mhodha Choinníollaigh"
Contact:
Tings: 5985

Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

Post by PluMGMK » Sat Aug 08, 2015 10:22 am

You silly man!

Bradandez
Globox
Posts: 18589
Joined: Wed Mar 21, 2012 12:50 am
Tings: 137530

Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

Post by Bradandez » Sat Aug 08, 2015 10:25 am

I have many gfs

PluMGMK
Dora Dodemer
Posts: 30591
Joined: Fri Jul 31, 2009 9:00 pm
Location: Tír an "Tuisil Ghinidigh" agus an "Mhodha Choinníollaigh"
Contact:
Tings: 5985

Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

Post by PluMGMK » Sat Aug 08, 2015 10:38 am

I suppose you know what you're doing...

Bradandez
Globox
Posts: 18589
Joined: Wed Mar 21, 2012 12:50 am
Tings: 137530

Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

Post by Bradandez » Sat Aug 08, 2015 10:42 am

Yes and it's having rad sex 8)

PluMGMK
Dora Dodemer
Posts: 30591
Joined: Fri Jul 31, 2009 9:00 pm
Location: Tír an "Tuisil Ghinidigh" agus an "Mhodha Choinníollaigh"
Contact:
Tings: 5985

Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

Post by PluMGMK » Sat Aug 08, 2015 10:44 am

That must be distracting from posting...

Post Reply