Rayman Pirate-Community

Posted: **Thu Sep 03, 2015 3:47 am**

Itooh wrote:
Xenon wrote:That's what I think, although it would be interesting to hear the perspective of those voters
Alright then! Half of the 11% speaking.

Well, first, I have to precise that I consider it more like a choice than a biological "condition" (in my case, that is). Technically, my sexual fantasies imply girls way more than boys, so for some that would make me an abstinent straight? Whatever, I personally find less confusing to consider me an asexual: I don't want sex, and I'm fine with it. It's more a social choice than a biological fact.

If I mentioned fantasy, it's because I'm not attracted to any people. I naturally focus more on who they are than on any sexual desire. I value more friendship than the eventuality of a sexual intercourse, or whatever we call “love” (romance being, as well as fidelity, an absolutely social concept, thus completely unnatural ). Sure, my social awkwardness has something to do with that. But in the end, I find interacting with people through their opinions, their personalities, they creations or tastes, way more interesting than a physical joy. Thus, I'm unable to feel a sexual attraction for a girl. I'm way too focused on everything else.
Actually, when a man ask me if I'm "interested" in a girl, I like to ask them in return if they are interested in me. First because it's fun to confuse them, and secondly because my feelings are remotely the same: “No, it's not that I don't like you/her, it's just that I don't care at all”. (though it wouldn't work with a gay, but I'd deserve an embarrassing answer I guess :p)

As for the physical need, it's just like eating, or pooping: yeah, my body wants it, and it does feel good… But they're not goals, or even priorities. Actually, it can even be seen as a waste of time comparing to much more compelling activities! Especially pooping.
Yeah: sex is poop. =D

Of course, of course, I may change my mind one day. After all, it's a choice, it might not be permanent. But I'm happy as I am, and I really dont' see any reason to force me to seek for a need I don't have. Maybe the desire will come, maybe not, who cares?
(well, people that consider gender roles primordial, but let's just fuck them… figuratively)

That's quite interesting to compare to. I myself usually look at the actions of a person before their opinions (it's easier for me to understand someone this way) and I don't really care about a person's looks. I also tend to come off as really bisexual IRL because of my body language, my sense of humor (as you pointed out, it's really just a bodily function), and that I openly support the LGBT community in a conservative area.
Honestly I think it's been easier for me to speak with people since I came to terms with my sexuality; I can remember days when I couldn't talk to anyone because it was a seriously huge complex of mine.

Posted: **Thu Sep 03, 2015 9:41 am**

Reading your explanations makes me think you guys must have a very pure view of men and women. People are equal, and your views are not tainted by your own conceptions of what's attractive, nor what it is to be attractive to those you find attractive. Just... Purity. This is deep.

Posted: **Thu Sep 03, 2015 9:47 am**

I'm just like Itooh, on this one, if someone ask me if I like someone I simply answer, "I more important things to care about"

Or,

"See if I care"
Being attracted by someone is a very unusual thing for me.
Pr0bl3m, it seems I'm very attractive, and this can be painful sometimes.

Posted: **Thu Sep 03, 2015 10:27 am**

Imco wrote:What about people with 2 penises, are they double man? Or 2 vaginas, are they double woman? I get your point on most people having either a penis or vagina and that you perceive those people as biologically male or female, but I don't think either of those "gender determining" genitals are the only thing to determine a person's so called "biological" sex.

You're probably right, but I never said anything about genitals.

Furthermore, you're mentioning edge cases which are totally irrelevant to my point according to which, I'll say it for the third time, the huge majority of people have a clearly defined sex/gender (not gender in the sex-you-identify-as sense).

incognito wrote:Pr0bl3m, it seems I'm very attractive, and this can be painful sometimes.

And very modest too?

Posted: **Thu Sep 03, 2015 10:29 am**

Hunchman801 wrote:
incognito wrote:Pr0bl3m, it seems I'm very attractive, and this can be painful sometimes.
And very modest too?

Look at that br0 :

EDIT :

Huehuehuehuehue.

Posted: **Thu Sep 03, 2015 5:29 pm**

I wouldn't say I have “pure” views of men or women. I still have a big social anxiety, and as everyone, see people through a lot of biases… including gender stereotypes, and expectations from my sexuality.

For the stereotypes, even if I'm conscious they exist and try to ignore them, they'll always play a part in how I see people. Some preconceived ideas are forged so deeply through education and culture that they become instinctive. Meaning I naturally tend to see women nicer than men, more attentive to their look, more sensible… And when there's a conflict between a man and a woman, I instinctively think the woman is innocent, because culture always represent them as victims or passive. I know this is bullshit, and I even actively fight against these ideas, but my subconscious keeps still a lot of values from society portraits of gender.
What my asexuality “adds” to this view is, among the tons of questions and thought I have when I meet a woman, I eliminate those as “Is she sexually attractive?”, “How could I have sex with her?” or “Does she find me seductive?”.

But while I am personally not interested in those matters, I'm still conscious that people around me might think I am. And my shyness and anxiety being what it is (Social Anxiety: The Movie: The Game), I still have a lot of worries like: “Does she think I'm trying to seduce her?”, “Am I looking like a macho if I act too casually?”, “Oh my, it would be so wrong if she thinks I'm gazing at her!”, “Act normal. Am I acting normal enough? Or too normal?”, etc…

Most of these questions are silly, but the more I try to avoid them, the more I panic.

So, “friendzoning” every girls I meet doesn't really allow me to think completely beyond the gender perspective. But I guess it improves it a little, in a way. I know people who, about any girls, ask first “Is she sexy?” or “Does she like you?”, and I now find it really weird… I've never had any “relationship” with women, but I've made great friends!

(and met some jerks… because regardless gender or sex, people can be so much annoying…)

Posted: **Wed Sep 09, 2015 10:26 pm**

If you can live peacefuly with that state of mind it's fine, but are you sure that you didn't tried to repress your passions to reach that state of mind?
If so I really think that it's not a good thing. If you're shy, you could go on a dating website, it's not a shame at all and even if you prefere to talk to the woman in a more friendly way, both of you will know the real goal of the whole thing, and it could make things easier.

Currently it's what I'm doing (at least with Tinder) but it's more because I'm at 500 fucking miles from home and I can't imagine doing 1 year of 10-15h of work per day without HAVING A GOOD FUCK. And to add to that frustration, girls from Versailles are very pretty.

Else, I'm straight m8. I never been attracted by guys in any way, whether it was physically or mentally.

Posted: **Thu Sep 10, 2015 12:33 am**

Relationships are a pretty fucking weird topic when you have social anxiety, even in your mind you can't help but shape the concept around your anxiety and personally I really lost any genuine excitement for it.

Now that I've begun to shift out of anxiety and more into just badly undeveloped social skills I at least feel like I've regained interest in the topic. Not that social anxiety kills attraction or something, but it gets ruined by feeling like there's so many extra complications to it that there's no point. I've never felt like social anxiety is just a matter of regaining self-confidence, when you do get out of it but don't actually build up your social life you can confidently deem yourself interesting enough for someone to date but it's like there's a complete inability to express those characteristics.

However regardless of sexuality, if you feel like you have real social anxiety then try to find a counselor that knows your situation because trying to kill it on your own is not recommended by me and the entire community of SA Forums. And make sure they know your situation, I've met with a pro counselor that was focused on tackling really serious problems but she just didn't know anything about SA and I wasted my time.

LoveMetal wrote:Currently it's what I'm doing (at least with Tinder) but it's more because I'm at 500 fucking miles from home and I can't imagine doing 1 year of 10-15h of work per day without HAVING A GOOD FUCK.

Stop lying, RPC users are all friendless loveless nerds

Posted: **Thu Sep 10, 2015 2:53 am**

Xenon wrote:Reading your explanations makes me think you guys must have a very pure view of men and women. People are equal, and your views are not tainted by your own conceptions of what's attractive, nor what it is to be attractive to those you find attractive. Just... Purity. This is deep.

Honestly it's not all it's cracked up to be. Society and the people within it have very clear rules on this sort of stuff, and going against it's only gonna lead to anxiety for most folks, myself included. On the plus side my rather aloof personality has kept most people from forcing their sexual history and opinions onto me, so I don't have too much to worry about regarding that.

Posted: **Thu Sep 10, 2015 7:57 pm**

>People who say they're asexual
Maybe someone could help me better understand this perspective, but whenever I'm told this I'm confused because a good chunk of these people have fell in love at one point, be it a real person or a videogame character, or have some particular fetish. Sometimes it's hard to believe it's legitimate, I know it exists, I'm not canning it. A good chunk of people who tell me they're asexual are usually the socially awkward types who don't really talk to others outside of the net.

Keane wrote:Relationships are a pretty fucking weird topic when you have social anxiety, even in your mind you can't help but shape the concept around your anxiety and personally I really lost any genuine excitement for it.

Very true. Though rather it can sometimes be people falling in love, a lot of people with anxiety are often in denial of this as if it's taboo to say it. Love truly is a great concept when it works in both your favor, that's the way I see it.

Posted: **Thu Sep 10, 2015 8:17 pm**

Rayfist wrote:>People who say they're asexual.

Sometimes like Itooh it more a choice than something else, but sometimes it is just the fact to have attraction for anyone.
But everything can suddenly change.

Posted: **Thu Sep 10, 2015 8:41 pm**

Rayfist wrote:>People who say they're asexual
Maybe someone could help me better understand this perspective, but whenever I'm told this I'm confused because a good chunk of these people have fell in love at one point, be it a real person or a videogame character, or have some particular fetish. Sometimes it's hard to believe it's legitimate, I know it exists, I'm not canning it. A good chunk of people who tell me they're asexual are usually the socially awkward types who don't really talk to others outside of the net.

If we were to break down sexualities into "I wanna fuck that" then the idea of asexuality is essentially "I don't wanna fuck that". There are a good handful of people who identify as asexual and still pursue relationships because they seek romantic interest but not sexual ones (Think : "I would date that but I wouldn't fuck it"). You could say this boils down into dating preferences but really sexualities in general are just that.

(Note that I am not one of the ones who voted asexual, this is just from my understanding of asexuality).

Posted: **Thu Sep 10, 2015 8:47 pm**

Initially I thought asexual was just not loving either gender (wasn't really talking about fucking), but after looking it up, yeah I'm seeing it that way too.

But it still raises the question when people who tell me this usually have some type of fetish (whether male or female, or object I guess, lol)

Posted: **Thu Sep 10, 2015 8:49 pm**

Perhaps should we rename that topic "RPC's sexuality shouldn't we ?

Posted: **Thu Sep 10, 2015 8:57 pm**

Rayfist wrote: But it still raises the question when people who tell me this usually have some type of fetish (whether male or female, or object I guess, lol)

I believe that is more to do with ones sex drive than who they're attracted to, as in feeling horny/attracted to something/some act =/= feeling attracted to a particular person. Simply put asexuality is not lack of sex drive but lack of feeling sexually attracted to people.

Posted: **Fri Sep 11, 2015 10:57 am**

I don't know what sex education is like for kids now, but looking back to when I was in primary school/high school and learning about the sexy times, it was very brief when it came to gay relationships...

Posted: **Fri Sep 11, 2015 7:21 pm**

Sex ed here was basically just "You put the penis in the vagina to make the baby but you wear the condom if you want the sexies but not the baby or diseases!". I don't recall any education in general about sexualities in school...at least that came from the teachers. Now that I think of it we even had a lesson on sex positions & various foreplay techniques (no kidding I swear to god) but gays? Nah not important no gays in high school what so ever.

Posted: **Fri Sep 11, 2015 8:25 pm**

I remember a teacher explaining AIDS to us. in middle school. Sexually transmissible, condoms, HIV positive blabla. Except there was one thing she never detailed: symptoms. So I asked her: “What does AIDS actually… do?”. To be fair, I couldn't grasp the word “symptom”. She didn't understand my question at all (and I believe, didn't try to), so it just lead to a ten minutes discussions where she just repeated that it was transmitted by sex, that you could be HIV positive, all that stuff, and I was still asking “Yeah, but… When you HAVE AIDS, what are the consequences.”. Finally she gave up, declared I wasn't attentive or just unable to comprehend anything, and moved on.
I asked later to my parents, so I learned it anyway. But I still was frustrated by this lecture that only said that “Having AIDS is bad, because then you have AIDS, and it's baaaaad to have it.”. ><

… Oh, other than that, yeah I guess we had other lectures about procreation and stuff. I just remember this insignificant anecdote.
OMG IT EXPLAINS… nothing.

Posted: **Fri Sep 11, 2015 9:34 pm**

I wasn't aware of the LGBT acronym for the longest time, I barely knew what it meant until 2013.

Posted: **Fri Sep 11, 2015 9:37 pm**

Wait, you mean it wasn't the name of a sandwich ?!

Oh my...

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